Stop Body Shaming Women!
I want to begin this post with a calm and quite serious STFU to all those “well meaning folks” who insist on commenting on my post pregnancy body. Now, I know that may sting and I get it, you thought that it was Okay. Well let me tell you, it definitely is Not Okay; allow me to explain. Let’s face it, society is constantly cramming that unrealistic idea of the perfect body down our throats; constantly comparing and shaming bodies. Women are conditioned from a super young age to do this to themselves and to others. Many of us continue a cycle of defining beauty and self worth based on what others think of us.
“Don’t you look beautiful in that dress”
“Pretty girls don’t act like tomboys”
“Don’t eat too much, you’ll get fat as a house“
“You’re so skinny, you need to eat a hamburger”
“Look at you getting big boobs (*grab)!”
“Where’s your butt?”
“Why are you so tall?”
“You’ve gained weight!”
These are a just a fraction of the conflicting, damaging, and repetitive statements made to me by “well meaning” folks. This all started at a very young age. Statements about my changing body grew worse through my adolescence and well into my adulthood. As a child you internalize this crap; it shapes your self image before you even know who you are. I never felt pretty enough, never looked at my body in the mirror and smiled; I was conditioned to never except or believe a compliment. I’d say its way past time the body shaming of women to end.
“Take the time for self reflection and stop burdening others especially young people with your struggle of self worth.”
Our Bodies Change And Thats Okay!
I knew my body would change during my pregnancy. For the first time since I was young I didn’t care how pretty others thought I was or what they thought about my body. I was too focused on growing a little body within mine! I was and continue to be in awe at what this body has done. My body shifted and stretched to grow my baby; it knew exactly what to do to birth her–helping me every step of the way. My body was ready with the perfect food for her once she was born and continues to nourish her today. My body is freaking Magic and THAT is beautiful, THAT is enough.
So keep your comments about my new butt, my hard working new boobs, or even my new thighs to yourself. I see them and I love them. The question is, do you love yourself? All those statements I endured growing up and even now aren’t really about me, they are a reflection of what the offender thinks about themselves. All of us have been guilty of projecting our crap on others in one form or another at some point in our lives. Take the time for self reflection and stop burdening others especially young people with your struggle of self worth.
“Focus on living a healthy and passionate life so you can show up for yourself and your family the best you can”
I’ll end this post with an encouraging high five to all those mommies out there! Your body is incredible. It will never be the same as before and that’s more than okay. Ignore that silly and clearly male fabricated notion of “getting your body back” that pressure common and celebrity women alike to “snap back” after the extreme changes of pregnancy. Focus on living a healthy and passionate life so you can show up for yourself and your family the best you can.
I will forever be grateful to pregnancy for teaching me to not just accept, but love my body for the magical and complex vessel that it is. Your body has accomplished an amazing thing so show it some respect and expand your definition of beauty. The next time those people try to start in on you with a causal body critique, tell them I LOVE MY BODY and move on to the next subject. Maybe if they see you loving yourself they will do the same and politely STFU.
What ways are you showing your new bodies some love Mamas? Im all about improving my mental and physical health. It’s not about getting to the body I had before or even to who I was before motherhood. I want to be better than before in every way. I will define those ways for myself free from others expectations 🙂 @ALovelyMommyBlog